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How To Overcome Shyness
An analysis of how to overcome shyness must start from the recognition that
shyness is a natural response to particular types of situation.
Fortunately your system can become desensitized to what is basically a fear based
reaction. Any situation with which you are unfamiliar and don't feel in
control will prompt shyness, this effect is compounded if you also have to formally meet a goal, such as during a job interview for example. Learning how to overcome shyness is not something that happens overnight, it's something that's aquired by experience.
When considering how to overcome shyness it's important to realise that repeated, frequent exposure to uncomfortable situations where you feel there's much potential for embarrassment can actually help to alleviate shyness. This happens because as the nature of the situation becomes more familiar it holds less apprehension and you start to learn better how to cope. Another important point to realise is that shyness requires a lot of effort and expends a lot of emotional energy. This effort is expended in maintaining an acute awareness and judgemental attitude about ones own performance. I remember the first lesson I gave when I was training to become a teacher. I was extremely nervous, so rather than concentrate my full effort on the job in hand, I was distacted by self-conciousness. The more I was exposed to that situation the less shy I became. The self-critical awareness and associated emotional effort was switched off, freeing me up to do the job better. The advice here for overcoming shyness is to actively seek repeated, frequent exposure to situations in which you feel uncomfortable.
So, for the majority of people, learning how to overcome shyness is a matter of experience. For a minority of people however, shyness can be a major impediment because it is compounded by low self-image and undue emotional sensitivity. The problem here is when embarrassing experiences reinforce an already low self-image. In such cases it's best to seek outside help from either a therapist, self-improvement courses and/or other resources to address the low self-image which is at the root of the problem. So, for some people, learning how to overcome shyness must first involve learning how to improve self-image.
By John Kirkham
When considering how to overcome shyness it's important to realise that repeated, frequent exposure to uncomfortable situations where you feel there's much potential for embarrassment can actually help to alleviate shyness. This happens because as the nature of the situation becomes more familiar it holds less apprehension and you start to learn better how to cope. Another important point to realise is that shyness requires a lot of effort and expends a lot of emotional energy. This effort is expended in maintaining an acute awareness and judgemental attitude about ones own performance. I remember the first lesson I gave when I was training to become a teacher. I was extremely nervous, so rather than concentrate my full effort on the job in hand, I was distacted by self-conciousness. The more I was exposed to that situation the less shy I became. The self-critical awareness and associated emotional effort was switched off, freeing me up to do the job better. The advice here for overcoming shyness is to actively seek repeated, frequent exposure to situations in which you feel uncomfortable.
So, for the majority of people, learning how to overcome shyness is a matter of experience. For a minority of people however, shyness can be a major impediment because it is compounded by low self-image and undue emotional sensitivity. The problem here is when embarrassing experiences reinforce an already low self-image. In such cases it's best to seek outside help from either a therapist, self-improvement courses and/or other resources to address the low self-image which is at the root of the problem. So, for some people, learning how to overcome shyness must first involve learning how to improve self-image.
By John Kirkham
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